


Dying: You're Doing It Wrong

by B_eden



Series: You're Doing It Wrong [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dark James Potter, F/F, Fear, Gay, M/M, Orgy, Power Play, Threesome, fear fetish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 01:11:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17376707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_eden/pseuds/B_eden
Summary: So, what really happened THAT night when Harry lost his parents and Severus wound up on the floor sobbing his heart out? Hint: Things aren't always what they seem.





	Dying: You're Doing It Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series which I am hoping to finish at some point this year, but I have written each part so that it's able to be read as a stand-alone story so you don't have to feel like you don't have some sense of closure while waiting for me to finish this up.
> 
> If you wanna know more about me as a writer and a person, you can follow my:
> 
> Blog: https://caspercrowblog.wordpress.com  
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/CrowCasper  
> Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/writercaspercrow

“I don’t trust him. We shouldn’t trust him.” Severus tried his best to corner James to get him to listen, but once he accomplished this James trained his intense eyes on him and he shrank back.

   
“If we can’t trust Albus then who can we trust?”

   
“These are desperate times, James. We can’t trust anyone! We can only trust each other. We can’t even trust Lily. She might go running off at random trying to do the right thing at the wrong time and get herself killed!”

   
“Look, Albus just wants to examine my invisibility cloak. What harm could there be in that?”

   
“Have you asked yourself why he wants yours? Let him get one anywhere else. You’re in hiding right now. You need every bit of protection you can get, yet for some reason he wants to examine YOUR heirloom. Don’t you remember that the only reason he even agreed to protect you is because of what he could get out of me in return? What kind of savior charges for protecting the innocent? He’s no different from the Dark Lord, if you ask me. He only chooses his rule through manipulation. How far will he work his way up the line of power as this progresses? He shouldn’t have access to such things as he’s been dabbling with!”

   
“You heard what he said. My cloak doesn’t lose it’s ability over time. There’s something special about it. It does more than just make you invisible. There’s something to it, and that might be able to help our cause.”

   
Severus clenches his fists. “The cause for the greater good or his personal cause that we can’t see? What about the cause of keeping your family safe?”

   
“No one knows where we are, Severus. Sirius doesn’t even know where we are. The Deatheaters won’t find us until we’re ready to be found when we take them out.”

   
“You think you’re so safe, Potter! I know where you are you stupid git!”

   
“I can trust you.”

   
Severus turned away and whispered, “You shouldn’t.” He yelped when he found himself whirled around and pinned on his back to James and Lily’s bed.

   
“Why’s that, Deatheater? You going to set me up? Get me out of the picture and have Lily all to yourself?” He leaned in to speak against Severus’ lips causing him to groan with the contact but shiver at the Maurader’s dark tone.

   
“Ideally,” Severus’ monotonous drawl didn’t have quite the same cold effect while breathless.

   
“James?” Lily’s voice wavered from the doorway and both wizards shifted their focus attentively to her distress. Her gaze seemed far away. “The baby’s doing that thing again.” She hugged her arms around her thin frame insecurely. “He’s not crying. He’s just watching me.”

   
Severus propped up on his elbows and narrowed his eyes suspiciously as James went to Lily’s side.

   
James warmed his hands up and down her arms gently to console her. “Lily, I know the whole prophecy thing is unnerving, but I promise you our baby is not evil. He wasn’t born with some piece of the Dark Lord’s soul. He’s not a wicked sociopath. He’s not evil. He’s just a baby, and a wizard, and so he will obviously seem odd sometimes.”

   
“Especially to muggles,” Severus drawled. They were both concerned when Lily didn’t take the bait to banter with him.

   
“He doesn’t cry.”

   
“He doesn’t cry often, love. He cries. Wizards and witches have magic in our bodies that heals all kinds of simple problems that muggles don’t know what to do about. He probably just isn’t uncomfortable. His body will naturally fix whatever his problem is half the time. If he’s a very gifted wizard then his magic might even be doing something to translate situations to his young mind and he’s just observing you with more understanding and curiosity than a muggle baby would.”

   
“Molly’s babies don’t act like that.” Lily glanced down the hallway as if she was afraid of her own child. “I love him, James. Even if he is evil. I just...I just don’t want him to be.”

   
“I thought we were talking about Harry and now you’re talking about Snivelous.” James’ laughter finally worked to comfort her. Her lovely lips quirked into a smile as Severus scoffed. “Look, our baby isn’t evil, and Severus isn’t evil. Everything is happy and bright.”

   
“I’m not content,” Severus reminded. “Don’t give Albus your cloak.”

   
Lily frowned. “Is Albus still on about finding those three artifacts? He really thinks your cloak might be one of them?”

   
Severus sat up abruptly. “Remember not to tell him we know what he thinks it is. I don’t want him to know I’ve caught on to what he’s searching for.”

   
Lily sat next to Severus and looked to James. “I don’t know if I trust his motives, either, James. He’s so powerful. He seems good and all, but then why is he looking into such dark things?”

   
James dropped his arms to his sides. “How am I supposed to tell him no?”

   
Severus cleared his throat. “I’ve found another old cloak that is in excellent condition. It was suspected to have special properties but found to simply be made of superior quality fabrics and reinforced. We can give him that one instead. He’ll look at it, you’ll still have yours for an emergency, and yet Albus won’t have access to yours.”

   
“What is so special about it again?” James scratched his head.

   
“Looking through Albus’ notes and the books he’s been thumbing through, I think he suspects the cloak can protect it’s wearer from death and probably keep you invisible no matter how powerful the wizard trying to find you is.”

   
“You’ve been looking through Albus’ notes?” Lily eyed Severus warily before James drew her attention away.

   
“That’s what we’ll do then. We’ll simply give him a different one that is superior to an average cloak so he won’t feel foolish for thinking there is something special about mine only to find there is not.”

   
Severus’ shoulders relaxed only to tense when James abruptly changed the subject.  
“Now. Since I apparently make possessed evil babies, does that mean you want our next baby to belong to Severus?”

   
The pale wizard gasped and stuttered before standing and rushing toward the wardrobe. James caught him before he could walk through and vanish back to his own home. He whirled him around so that they were both facing Lily. Severus covered his face with his hands in humiliation.

   
“James!” Lily scolded.

   
“What? It’s okay! The babies won’t be that ugly. I’m sure their intelligence will compensate for it. Maybe they’ll luck out and look more like you.” James stopped trying to pry Severus’ hands away as the pale wizard began to struggle and he had to shift to holding him in place. Severus whined when James whispered into his ear, “Don’t act like you don’t want to. Severus.”

   
The pale wizard froze when he heard Lily’s gentle voice directly in front of him. He didn’t resist when Lily pulled his hands away, but he trained his confused eyes to the floor. He felt a sharp jolt of pain at the reminder that she was James’ wife, even if they were in agreement for their love triangle. He felt it was rather cruel of James to hurt him this way by rubbing the fact in and manhandling him in front of Lily in the same way he used to.

   
The pain showed in his eyes when Lily said, “James, stop teasing him so.” He almost thought he would be able to control the miserable tears hiding just behind his lids until Lily was wicked enough to lean up and plant a soft, chaste kiss to his lips, which he took to mean she was pitying him. Several more tears escaped when he clenched his lids closed as Lily ran a knee slowly up between his legs. He followed her retreating lips instinctively and then cursed his desperation when she smiled at his actions. She studied his tormented expression as James held him in place. When she continued to hold his gaze and rested their foreheads together Severus thought his heart would thump right out of his chest. He was humiliated that James’ hands were clasped around him and he knew that the other wizard could feel every labored thud betraying his desires.  
Lily slid her hands up his shirt and James moved his arms so that she could press her fingertips on the pale wizard’s chest to feel his emotions for herself. Severus no longer tried to escape other than sinking back from the confusion in front of him into James’ chest behind him. He didn’t tense when James scooped up his hands until he realized he was guiding Severus’ hands to Lily’s sides.

   
“James, th-this isn’t a good time to-” He was silenced when Lily kissed him again and pressed closer. This pushed him back against James’ healthy erection and caused him to whimper against Lily’s lips. Lily forced open his shirt, breaking the buttons as if James had taught her the action himself. She pushed his shirt away and Severus shuddered when James groaned against his bear neck before latching his mouth onto his shoulder.  
Lily kissed her way up the other side of his neck and then whispered into his ear, “Don’t listen to him, Severus.” She pulled back enough to look at his face again and enjoyed the way his eyes rolled back in his head when James’ hand slid down the front of his pants and began working on him. “Don’t listen to that nonsense.” She kissed him chastely again, and he almost thought of fleeing from the situation before she added, “I know that you will give me beautiful babies, Severus.” She closed her eyes and deepened the kiss, so she missed when his lids flew open in shock, but she couldn’t ignore the pounding of his heartbeat.

   
Lily stopped when Severus stayed frozen for too long for comfort. She glanced up to see that his glassy stare was fixed on the ceiling. “Severus?” His hands were where James had left them on her hips, and his fingers were rigid and motionless. “James? Is...is he okay? Did you do something to him?”

   
“He’s alright. He’s just panicking.” James barely took his mouth from the pale wizard’s body when he spoke.

   
“Just panicking? I don’t think there is a just panicking. What should we do? Severus?”

   
“Let’s walk him to the bed.”

   
Lily stepped out of the way and Severus’ voice creaked in desperation as James easily picked him up and carried him to the bed. Lily turned down the sheets and politely turned away and reached for her wand to dim the lights when James when to set Severus down and the pale wizard turned and clung to him in terror.

   
“Calm, Severus. I’ve got you.”

   
“D-don’t let go,” Severus pleaded.

   
“Never.” He leaned forward and guided the both of them to the sheets placing Severus at the center of the bed.

   
“Silence,” Severus demanded weakly, but firmly, when he felt James’ chest rumble with laughter.

   
Lily crawled into the bed and pressed her body along Severus’. She smiled when Severus’ body relaxed as she pulled the covers over them.

   
“How are you supposed to knock up my wife if you freeze up when she mentions it?”

   
“James!” They both grabbed for the pale wizard between them when he tried to sit up and escape. He fell back and stared toward the ceiling in shock again. “It’s alright, Severus. We’re here. We can talk about it some other time. It’s okay. Don’t run away. Stay here with us.” Lily didn’t realize how reactive Severus’ body was to her soft hands moving along his body to comfort him. James, however, was invading Severus’ mind constantly with little to no resistance and was very aware what his own hands were doing as he feigned helping Lily to comfort him and just happened to graze along his most sensitive places.

   
“Severus? What are you thinking?” Lily hovered over him sweetly. “Severus, baby, talk to me.” Her concerned tone began pulling him from his confusion enough to investigate what might be bothering her. She smiled when he clasped his hands to her face as if to prove she was really there.

   
His breath hitched when James’ hand made it’s way back down his pants, pulling him free of his fastenings. The stimulation coupled with the sensation of Lily’s hair tickling along his bare flesh overwhelmed his thoughts so that he crushed his lips onto Lily’s and pulled her forward to straddle him. He hadn’t noticed when she had stepped out of her pants and slid on a night shirt, nor did he remember clearly how he got to the bed. All he knew was that when his arms instinctively pulled her on top of him her bare flesh was pressed against his and all his fear and reasoning flew out the window.

   
She guided him inside of her warmth and for a moment she thought he was going to freeze up all over again until he sat up and kissed her deeply. She was reminded that Severus had learned to kiss from James when she felt the same commanding, consuming passion that she felt from the Seeker, yet Severus’ mouth on her’s held a much more desperate-and-abandoned personality compared to the calm and confidence that James offered to her.

   
At the thought of James, Lily glanced to the side to see the other wizard was reclined with his hands behind his head watching them. He seemed content to do so, and then made a heart shape with his hands and motioned toward Severus to remind her that, even though he would never ask for it, the emotional dark wizard longed to be reassured.

   
“Severus...” She was breathless as Severus instinctively guided her up and down on his body and pushing up against her greedily. “I love you.”

   
Severus half choked and rolled over on top of her as he lost another large chunk of his control. She wrapped her legs around him and squeezed to stop him from driving into her too fast and ending the moment too soon. “I love you,” She began chanting it like a spell until Severus was so bewitched that he was completely still on top of her. She relaxed her legs once his eyes became more focused as he looked down at her, and he began to move again, only so slowly that his arms shook with the effort. “F-faster than that.” She groaned when he ignored her and continued to torture her with the slow pace just to hear her beg. “P-please, Severus...I want it...” She wasn’t sure which wizard groaned louder at her words, but when Severus’ eyes stayed too long distracted on James self-gratification at their side while he watched them, she guided his dark eyes back to her.

   
Severus became overwhelmed with the attention and the realization of his dreams being fulfilled even more completely than he had known was possible. The night blended in his mind in a haze of erotic sounds, arching bodies, sweat and tears. Their long night was a scene that reoccurred often.

   
Severus awoke alone and tangled in the sheets of their bed. He could hear the comforting noises of James and Lily’s mourning routine as he stared at the breakfast left for him on the night stand. The peaceful atmosphere and the golden sunlight sneaking in between the curtains gave him an uneasy surreal feeling that he was living a life he didn’t deserve.

   
He walked through the cabinet to retrieve the cloak he had mentioned the night before. He prepared for the long day of work ahead of him and braced his mind for any contact he would need to have with other Deatheaters. He stepped back into the emptiness of the cabinet and cried out when the darkness reached for him in return.

   
“Gods, James! I thought you were the Dark Lord!”

   
“How do you know I’m not?”

   
“Don’t do that with your voice! It’s not amusing, Potter! I know it’s you because you smell different, idiot!”

   
“Don’t go smelling other people,” James growled playfully as he pressed Severus against the inside of the pitch black cabinet. “And we’re back to ‘Potter’ now, eh?”

   
“What if I’d killed you just now?”

   
“I was ready for you. I’d make a much better Dark Lord.”

   
“I know you would. Why are you in the cabinet, Potter?”

   
“Waiting for you.” His tone was more serious than usual.

   
“W-why?”

   
“To see if this cloak protected my thoughts from you. If you didn’t hear them, then it does. I was projecting the most perverse things I could think of at you from the open door.”

   
“I didn’t pick up on any of it. There’s no end to what that cloak does, it seems. It could be very dangerous in the wrong hands.”

   
“I know. You have no idea what I’ve accomplished with it.”

   
“James?”

   
“Hmm?”

   
“Why haven’t you released me yet?” Severus was both enamored and disturbed by the passion in the Maurader’s actions when he answered him by making out with him. “W-what’s wrong with you? Why do you seem so sad? Have I done something wrong?”

   
“No. It wouldn’t matter if you had.”

   
“You’re scaring me. You’re being...different.”

   
“I just have a strange feeling; like something is wrong.”

   
“What could be wrong? Are you concerned about Sirius? His confusions aren’t your fault.”

   
“No. I don’t think that’s it.”

   
Severus squirmed. “Then let’s leave. Let’s get away from here and go somewhere away from all this madness.”

   
“You know that’s not how visions work, Severus. Trying to avoid the inevitable will just put you moving toward it anyway.”

   
“What vision?”

   
“It’s okay. We finished the horcruxes. We’ll be fine.”

   
“What vision James?!”

   
“I’ll tell you about it tonight. Let’s not get all worked up before we have things to do. We still have to function. That’s what these people want. They want to take away peace and disrupt life. Even if we ran away they would eventually come to us. They’re not going to stop with a portion of the world. They’ll want to keep spreading out until there is no safe place to go. It’s not so selfless as you think...my reasoning for wanting to stop them.”

   
Severus would later hate himself for not being more forceful with James in the cabinet. He cursed that he hadn’t come up with some kind of devious Slytherin plan to knock them all out and take them away somewhere against their will, but he knew James was right. If bad things hadn’t happened the way they did, it would have been Severus’ fault completely for taking them right into it.

   
Severus clutched Lily’s still body and sobbed with all his soul, all the while wondering how the creepy baby had survived. He rocked her deliriously until the question of where James’ body was started to eat at him. He went through the house, stepping over the Deatheaters that James had killed, remembering every time he had ever feared the other wizard’s wrath, and realizing he was right to fear him so. He couldn’t find James. He cursed and returned to cradle Lily once again. Harry stayed mostly silent, but then suddenly began to cry.

   
“Look. I think he’s upset that I’m not dead.” James flung the cloak back over his body even as Severus continued to back away from a sudden presence in the room in terror. Harry stopped crying. “You see that? He did it again?”

   
“J-James...Lily...”

   
“She’s not dead, but she’s not okay. I’m not okay.”

   
“What...what happened?”

   
“I’ve been trying to figure that out for hours. Do you have any polyjuice potion? Not the normal kind. You were telling me of something you were experimenting with. I want you to get that semi-permanent kind you used on the animals. See if it works on two of these bodies to make them look like mine and Lily’s.”

   
“What are we doing?”

   
“You were right, Severus. It was a strange coincidence that Albus just happened to want to examine my cloak on a night that a dozen or more Deatheaters just happened to break into my house.”

   
“Pettigrew?”

   
“I haven’t tried to contact anyone yet or investigate. I think I’d rather everyone think we’re dead. I...need your help to move. I can’t walk.”

   
“You want me to take Harry first-”

   
“NO!” James cleared his throat. “Sorry. I...okay. They all busted in and Lily ran up the stairs to get Harry and go through the cabinet to your place, as was the plan. There were so many of them, though. I fought them as fast as I could, and I made my way around to getting the cloak, where I finished the rest of them off. I didn’t see Voldemort, though, and I heard Lily scream. I stayed under the cloak and rushed up here. He had stopped her in Harry’s room and was blabbing on about his evil plans or whatever. Of course, I jumped in front of the killing curse. Something happened then, and I think it’s because of the curse hitting the cloak, but I’m not sure. I tried to throw the cloak over Lily and Harry, so the cloak was off of my legs and partially over her. The curse hit the cloak and somehow bounced all over the place. It was reflected or something, I think, and not as potent, maybe? I don’t know why Harry isn’t dead. I could understand why Lily and I survived, though I don’t know what has happened to us, but I don’t know how Harry survived or how Voldemort died. To tell you the truth, I don’t know if I trust Harry.”  
Severus looked toward the baby’s blank expression.

   
“He sat there and was perfectly fine with us dead. When he saw me alive he seemed to get upset.”

   
“James, maybe he just knew there was no reason to cry until there was someone to cry to.”

   
“I wondered that. I can’t get anywhere so I couldn’t go to him to comfort him, so I just stayed like this under the cloak until you got here, but when he didn’t cry to you it shocked me. That’s why I didn’t say anything at first. I was watching him. Making sure that...that he’s not...”

   
“James, he couldn’t be evil. He’s just a baby. Isn’t he?”

   
“What if he did die, Severus? What if that’s Voldemort? What if he didn’t cry because he recognized you?”

   
“Then wouldn’t he start crying when he saw me talking to you?”

   
“I don’t know. Maybe his mind is still a baby’s and will have to develop all over again.”

   
“You don’t seem nearly as upset about this as you should be.”

   
“Are you surprised? Don’t you know me?”

   
“What are you suggesting we do? Are you going to kill your own son on nothing more than a paranoid suspicion?”

   
“Of course not. But I don’t think it would be good for him to be raised in a wizarding society. If he is some kind of a dark lord then being raised humble and with empathy for muggles would do him well.”

   
“That’s not always the case. I didn’t have good experiences with muggles, James. It could have the opposite effect.”

   
“Lily has family. We’ll give the baby to them. I...I can’t take care of him until I can find a way to cure myself and Lily to where we can even take care of ourselves.” James winced as he tried to move his legs too quickly. “He’ll be safer with them away from all this.”

   
“What should we tell Lily? Could she handle the truth of it, or should we try to lie to her? Would it hurt her more to think he’s dead?”

   
“We’ll tell her the truth if she wakes up.”

   
Severus shifted his attention back to Lilly in his lap, realizing that since they didn’t quite understand what happened that he didn’t know how to diagnose the problem or help her.

   
“It’s okay, Severus. We’re still here. Calm down. Look, take Lily over and then come back for me. Severus? Can you hear me? Pull it together before any Deatheaters come to clean up this mess, or even before some of our own show up. I don’t want to trust anyone but you anymore. Severus?” He finally looked up at him. “We’ll fix this, but we have to get safe first.” Severus nodded and stood.

   
It was over twenty four hours before Severus was finally able to get home and drop his guard. He made his way toward one of the many secret compartments in his house, eager to see if there was any change in his beloved Lily.

   
His exhausted body almost collapsed when he saw that she was just as still as she had been before. He turned to check on James and the shock of him standing behind him caused his fatigued mind to black out completely.

   
“Severus? You’ve been out for sixteen hours. You need to eat something. At least drink this.” James sounded as patient with him as ever.

   
“I thought you were both dead.” Severus’ voice was even more heart wrenchingly monotonous than usual.

   
“We’re not dead. We’re poisoned.”

   
“Poisoned?” Severus sat up hopefully. “Poisons I can work with.”

   
“I only know because I remember hearing you and Lily talking about this concept a long time ago, and I’d found it interesting. Somehow Voldemort is using that stupid snake for more than an attack dog. I don’t know what he did to bond with it, or where it is now, but whatever he did, he took some characteristics of that snake into himself. We knew that much, but I wasn’t sure of the extent. You two were discussing what benefits Voldemort might receive from such a connection with a snake to try and decide why he would have done such a thing. The poison concept was one of those topics. I think that when...whatever...happened in that room, Lily’s and my body were somehow poisoned by a human snake hybrid when his spirit was knocked all over the place. I saw something like that happening. The spell went everywhere, and then it hit him, and I thought it hit Harry, which would explain that mark on his head, but when it hit Voldemort he just sort of...exploded...only there were no pieces of him around anywhere. Can you make an antidote?”

   
“I would need the venom from...not just a snake of that kind, but by a snake with that particular disposition.” Severus’ shoulders dropped. “I don’t know what happened to the snake. No one has seen it since Voldemort’s death.”

   
“Could you try an anti-venom from one of the snakes alone and see if it will work?”

   
“I could make an antidote from one of them that would be harmless to try it. Perhaps it could at least wake her enough to be in your condition until we can find further-what?”  
“I’m in a lot of pain. I’m not sure I would want her in my condition.”

   
“Well...we can experiment until we get you comfortable, and then we will work to wake her.”

   
“That sounds logical. That sounds safe.” James sighed. “Well, at least the Dark Lord is gone, and we lived through it.”

   
Severus nodded. “I suppose at least there is that.”

   
“My son? What happened to Harry?”

   
“Albus and Minerva gave him to Hagrid to take to Lily’s family. They followed to make sure he was safe. I went later and checked the security. It appears that Minerva did most of the wards. I wonder if Albus would have done anything at all had she not insisted they go along. I positively loathe him, James. I can’t trust him. Pettigrew has disappeared. It’s assumed he was tortured for the information leading to you and Lily. I’ll bet it didn’t take that much before he spilled everything he knew, the coward. Nothing looks good for your friends. Remus had a nervous breakdown after Sirius lost it and killed a bunch of muggles in a-”

   
“Padfoot did what? Why?”

   
“I don’t know. I knew he was violent and suspected him as a sociopath, but even I didn’t think he’d go that far.”

   
James sank back in his seat and ran his hands over his face. He grunted with every painful movement so that Severus found himself rummaging for potions to help him.  
The stress in James’ eyes softened when Severus returned to kneel beside him and he began listing off the contents of the bottles he’d brought along and worryied over his condition.

   
“I’ll try this one, and this one.” He didn’t release Severus’ pale hand after he handed him the second potion. He swallowed heavily as James held him there while he downed the contents of both bottles.

   
“Is it working at all?” Severus held his breath.

   
“That depends on what they were supposed to do.”

   
“I told you what-”

   
“I wasn’t listening. I didn’t want to know if what you were saying didn’t make sense.”

   
“What do you mean?”

   
“I’ll take anything you hand me, Severus.”

   
“That’s most convenient, but I don’t see how that explains your odd behavior.”

   
“Is it odd?” He tangled his other hand in Severus’ shirt and leaned his pained figure toward him.

   
“Y-yes. Why are you staring at me? Are the potions working?”

   
“That depends,” James whispered again as he planted a kiss to the Deatheater’s forehead, “On what they were supposed to do.” He moved to hold Severus’ gaze for an uncomfortable amount of time before he inhaled deeply. “The pain’s going away.”

   
“That’s excellent. We can-”

   
“Severus.”

   
“As usual, Potter, you’re scaring me.” The dark wizard fought the urge to run away when James’ hands moved to the sides of his face and forced him to look at him in return. His wide, dark eyes filled with tears. “James?”

   
“Did you kill me?”

   
“You’re not making sense. Are you having trouble concentrating? Is there something wrong with your mind?” It frightened him more that James’ voice was steady and calm. There wasn’t any hint of condemnation or psychotic paranoia, rather it seemed James was in his right mind asking him such things. Severus’ secluded home was so quiet that the only sounds were their hushed voices. The silence between words and the intensity of James’ stare was overwhelming.

   
“Are those tears of confusion, stress, or guilt, Severus? I need to know. If you killed me just now with whatever you gave me, and the pain is going away because you chose to kill me mercifully, I want to look at you while I go. I’d like to lean back. I’m tired, but if I’m dying then it doesn’t matter. And I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you, but if you’ve poisoned me I don’t want to hurt you.”

   
He barely finished his words before Severus stood and shoved him back in the large armchair. He straddled him and locked their mouths together. James floundered with wide eyes for only second before firmly pulling their lips apart. “Severus, I-”

   
“I didn’t poison you, idiot. I would have nothing to do with hurting you. At least not permanently.” He returned to James’ lips as soon as he released him. James groaned at the building pressure Severus’ desperate wriggling atop him was causing. He was eternally glad to be reassured that his lover hadn’t betrayed him for his muse when he was willing to give him all. After all, he had mainly pursued Lily because he knew that Severus wanted her in the first place. He knew the three of them could be together in a way that any combination of the two of them would have trouble justifying alone.  
Severus felt James poking around in his mind and realized only then that, though James typically trespassed into his thoughts daily, he had yet to do so since the attack. He began to sob pitifully.

   
“You would have let me? You would have just...just let me?”

   
“Of course.” James began to pull away their clothes with obvious intent once he was in Severus’ mind and knew exactly how much he was desired in return.

   
“You’ll get us all killed sooner than later with self sacrificing moves like that, Potter.”

   
“I wouldn’t let anyone hurt us, Severus.”

   
“Just me?” Severus scoffed before moaning as he lowered himself around James’ cock.

   
“Just you.” He pressed up with more energy than he’d realized he’d had left.

   
“Relax. Let me-” He didn’t have to describe to James his intentions of riding him to preserve his health.

   
“If you insist.” James smirked lethargically.

   
Severus was too grateful that James was alive to be irritated with his arrogance. The long years of war and the fear and the danger and the threat of loss coupled together with their first hope of a peaceful life of fulfillment together made sure that their bodies didn’t last long against the overwhelming emotions. They found themselves in a sticky, tangled, breathless mess within minutes.

   
“Again.”

   
“We need to rest more, James. There will be many demands on me in the coming days.”

   
“Oh, yeah. You’ll probably be getting a call really soon from the bank. I left you a rather hefty sum of money in my will, and the rest you’re in charge of for Harry.”  
Severus quirked a brow and peeled his cheek from James’ sweaty chest. “Why would you do that? Why, especially if you suspected I may be seducing you all along and that I would kill you to have Lily for myself, and for money if I’d known?”

   
“Suspect is a strong word. Besides, I don’t remember listing off WHY I thought you might kill me, though at least in the future I can be sure of why I’m fading away to the sound of your laughter. I’m kidding, Severus,” He chuckled when the dark wizard’s mouth clamped into a straight line.

   
“I’m sure receiving a bunch of your money will look excellent in my case once all the Deatheaters are finally rounded up now that the Dark Lord is no longer around to keep the general wizardry population in check with terror.”

   
“Albus will speak for you, won’t he?”

   
“He has said that he will all along. He also promised to keep Lily safe, and he failed.”

   
“I’m fairly confident that Wormtail is responsible for our betrayal. I thought his cowardice would assure his loyalty, but that was folly on my part. He didn’t know that he should fear me more than Voldemort. How could he? I didn’t let him know that he should. He doesn’t know me the way you do. No one does.”

   
“Thank the gods or you’d be in Azkaban.”

   
“Not for long. I just survived the killing curse because of our thinking ahead. What harm could Dementors and stone walls really do to me? Besides, I have fevered dreams of you to fuel my Patronus.”

   
“Awfully moonstruck today, are we?”

   
“You like it. You get off on tenderness.”

   
“Sod off, Potter.”

   
“Where are you going?” James reached for Severus’ retreating waist but missed when his tired limbs failed him.

   
“I’m going to give Lily these same potions in case her body is in stress even if she can’t feel it. Then I’m going to find a way to secure her regular nourishment until we’re able to venture out across the world without arousing suspicion to find the appropriate species of snake to attempt to wake her. After that we will concern ourselves with if and how we can track down Nagini and obtain a sample of her venom to work on a cure for the both of you.”

   
“Any plans for that?”

   
“Seventeen so far.”

   
“Of course.”

   
“The first of which is to spell each of us regularly so that if that snake somehow finds us and sinks it’s fangs directly into us our veins will recognize a foreign venom and send it to a specified collection vile.”

   
“You’re thinking of actually inserting a vile inside of our bodies?”

   
“Yes. The Dark Lord regularly had Nagini attack, torture, and consume his victims. I have plenty of recipes for anti-venom, though I have not been able to actually make any. I will not make that mistake in the future. We will immediately find one of those snakes and keep a store of it, and some on each of us at all times. I also know Nagini’s favorite attack patterns. You must brush up on your unspoken magic in case she finds you and goes for the throat. It should be simple enough for us to heal the wounds anywhere else with a simple reverse of my Septemsempre spell. If she rips away our ability to speak, however, we must be ready for wordless defense.”

   
“Understood. So, this venom collection bottle. Will that work to thwart poisons from other animals?”

   
“It should. I will probably need to make a potion for us to drink to make the concept work. I don’t think a spell would be as potent, and once our minds are distracted a spell could fail us. A potion will keep it working for a measurable amount of time for us to replenish it. We won’t have the worry of being caught off guard. I’ve been working on the concept for quite some time to protect myself from Nagini in case the Dark Lord went through a random fit of rage or paranoia as he often times did. It was only a matter of time before he would have lost intrigue with a double agent. My usefulness would have eventually weighed less than the stress of trying to keep ahead of my potential betrayal.”

   
“It’s a plan then,” James yawned, his head lolling back into the chair. “That’s...the...plan.”


End file.
